Sturtz Stuff

There are a lot of things to protest in our culture at the moment. We have witnessed protests that desire to lament racism. We have seen protests that yearn for justice for the disenfranchised and poor. In the midst of all of this I have not witnessed a single protest suggesting that less listening needs to happen. “There is too much listening!” is not the cry of any protester. In fact there is a deep desire to be heard. Not just heard but listened to and understood in some manner.  In all my years of doing local church ministry, serving as a chaplain, being a Father or just doing life I have never had anyone complain about having been listened to well. Nobody has ever complained that they felt someone had truly listened to them. Most of us have experienced the opposite. Perhaps there are a few rare occasions that we might recall in our lives when we could say that someone truly listened to us.  More often we feel ignored. We feel like there was a lot of talking yet nobody was...

13 Later they sent some of the Pharisees and Herodians to Jesus to catch him in his words. 14 They came to him and said, “Teacher, we know that you are a man of integrity. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are; but you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not? 15 Should we pay or shouldn’t we?” But Jesus knew their hypocrisy. “Why are you trying to trap me?” he asked. “Bring me a denarius and let me look at it.” 16 They brought the coin, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?” “Caesar’s,” they replied. 17 Then Jesus said to them, “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.” And they were amazed at him. (Mark 12:13-17)  What are your politics Jesus? That is what these questioners sent by the Pharisees and the Herodians want to know. They trot out a specific and highly contentious political issue in an attempt to trip Jesus up. The Pharisees...

I heard a story about a church minister that had put on a marriage seminar. One of the skills that the minister taught the couples in attendance was reflective listening. It is a method of listening to what someone is saying and then reflecting or repeating what you heard the speaker say back to them. It is a slow and methodical way for couples to communicate. Yet it can be highly effective, especially if things between the couple are tense emotionally. Once the minister explained the skill he then asked the couples to practice. After a few moments one of the guys spoke up and said “I don’t think this is going to work for my marriage.” The minister replied “Why not?” The gentleman explained, “This seems nice and all but when I fight I just want to have a fight.” That’s fair. There is some emotional release in fighting. A good fight can make us feel alive and vigorous. Sometimes a fight can remind us about the things that are meaningful and important to us. Anger isn’t always bad. It is...