There are a lot of things to protest in our culture at the moment. We have witnessed protests that desire to lament racism. We have seen protests that yearn for justice for the disenfranchised and poor. In the midst of all of this I have not witnessed a single protest suggesting that less listening needs to happen. “There is too much listening!” is not the cry of any protester. In fact there is a deep desire to be heard. Not just heard but listened to and understood in some manner.
In all my years of doing local church ministry, serving as a chaplain, being a Father or just doing life I have never had anyone complain about having been listened to well. Nobody has ever complained that they felt someone had truly listened to them. Most of us have experienced the opposite. Perhaps there are a few rare occasions that we might recall in our lives when we could say that someone truly listened to us.
More often we feel ignored. We feel like there was a lot of talking yet nobody was listening. We walk away from the conversation feeling like we were told what to think or feel instead of someone listening to what we were feeling or thinking. When I was a kid there was a new deadly disease spreading around the world. Nobody knew where it came from. It wasn’t really clear, at first, how it was spreading. What was clear is that this new disease dubbed AIDS was causing otherwise healthy people to die a horrible death. Parents checked their children out of school. Terrible misinformation rumors spread that you could get AIDS by giving someone with AIDS a hug, shaking their hand or drinking after them from the same water fountain. There was great confusion. There was a lot of talking. Not a lot of listening was happening. That lack of listening created a gap of compassion which lead to great suffering in the lives of real people who had AIDS as well as their families, friends and loved ones.
Remember Ryan White? If not just Google his name. Ryan was 13 years old, in 1984, when he contracted AIDS. He was a hemophiliac and was given blood that contained the AIDS virus. Ryan was not allowed to return school and his mother commented that people treated Ryan as well as their family horribly 1. People suggested that Ryan must be a homosexual or that he had done something to deserve what happened to him. There was a lot of talking but not a lot of listening.
As I reflect on that time I often wonder what would have happened, if on a personal level, people would have listened. I wonder what would happen in our current moment if we on a personal level listened to others.
It is no easy task to listen. It takes time, energy and compassion. It often means setting aside the task at hand and allowing yourself to be interrupted. Listening is a skill. Like learning to use a hammer and nail, drive a car, budget your finances or efficiently type on a keyboard. A skill takes time and practice. One skill that we can all improve on is listening. One way to improve our skill of listening is to practice the art of learning the what.
15 As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; 16 but they were kept from recognizing him. 17 He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?” They stood still, their faces downcast. 18 One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” 19 “What things?” he asked. (Luke 24:15-19 NIV)
Cleopas is a mysterious character. There is no other mention of him in the New Testament outside of this moment in Luke 24. The Christian leader Eusebius (314 AD), the Bishop of Caesarea, offered up a quote from a Christian writer named Hegesippus (180 AD). In the quote Hegesippus claimed that he interviewed the grandsons of Jude the Apostle who told him that Cleopas was the brother of Joseph, the husband to Mary. Sadly the works of Hegesippus are all lost except for some quotes by the likes of Eusebius. The point is not who Cleopas was or wasn’t.
What I would like to highlight is that Jesus asked questions! Not just any question but a what question. Jesus, God in the flesh, asks Cleopas and his traveling companion a what question. Jesus didn’t assume to know what they were thinking or feeling. Jesus didn’t tell them what to think or what to feel. He simply asked, “What things?” Great question! By asking a what question Jesus was communicating something like, “Please, tell me more about that.”
By asking a what question Jesus is indicating that he is interested. He is engaged and intrigued. Jesus would like to know more about what Cleopas and his traveling companion have seen, heard and experienced the last few days in Jerusalem. By asking a simple what question Jesus is letting Cleopas know that his only agenda is to learn more. How refreshing! How kind! When was the last time that you could say someone listened to you? When was the last time that you were listened to and didn't have someone attempt to stick their anxieties and issues on you? It has probably been a hot minute. In those moments when that didn't happen, you were given a wonderful and rare gift. How refreshing! That is the gift that Jesus is offering to Cleopas and his traveling companion. Jesus is attempting to learn the what. What happened? What did you see? What did you hear? What did you think about that? What did you feel about that? What about that was scary? What about that was wonderful? What about that was confusing? What about that was important to you? What did you learn from that?
Let us take a lesson from the master teacher Jesus. He was willing to listen by asking a what question. Jesus was willing to learn the what. Before he gave advice. Before he offered his insight. Before he offered anything he started by asking a what question. Jesus asks such a simple question and yet it is such a kind gift! The gift of being heard. Perhaps you and I might offer that same gift to someone as well by simply asking a few what questions. After all what person doesn’t want to be heard?
1 Kim Soo, “Who Was Ryan White? Teen Who Contracted AIDS via Blood Transfusion,” Newsweek, November 9, 2021, www.newsweek.com.
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