Some folks like to hug, and others would rather eat glass than get a hug. Okay, maybe not eat glass but they aren’t into hugs. You know who you are! Wherever you might be on the hug me or don’t hug me spectrum our human bodies were designed for human contact to thrive.1,2
Physical touch like a hug or holding a person’s hand can reduce pain, lower cortisol levels, boost immune responses, and foster empathy. Physical touch can also have a positive impact on our emotional health as well. It is a powerful moment when you feel down, outcast, and excluded and someone acknowledges your humanity with a handshake, hug, or hand placed on your shoulder. The point is there is power in human touch that goes beyond what our eyes can see.
Frederick Buechner in his book Whistling in the Dark talks about the power of human touch when he writes:
I hear your words. I see your face. I smell the rain in your hair, the coffee on your breath. I am inside me experiencing you as you are inside you experiencing me, but the you and the I themselves, those two insiders, don't entirely meet until something else happens.
We shake hands perhaps. We pat each other on the back. At parting or greeting, we may even go so far as to give each other a hug. And now it has happened. We discover each other to be three-dimensional, solid creatures of reality as well as dimensionless, airy creators of it. We have an outside of flesh and bone as well as an inside where we live and move and have our being.
Through simply touching, more directly than in any other way, we can transmit to each other something of the power of the life we have inside us. It is no wonder that the laying on of hands has always been a traditional part of healing or that when Jesus was around, "all the crowd sought to touch him" (Luke 6:19). It is no wonder that just the touch of another human being at a dark time can be enough to save the day.
We might not all be folks that like to be hugged yet we can relate to the healing power of touch. Maybe someone demonstrated their care for you by placing their hand on your shoulder during a time of distress. When you hold the hand of your loved one it can give you a sense of comfort and peace. A hug could remind you that you are deeply loved at a moment when you were not so sure. Sometimes a handshake can have a deeper meaning than just a social nicety.
Sidebar for just a moment. I recognize that the word touch for some is connected with something horrible. Some cringe at the thought of human touch because it is a reminder of abuse(s) suffered. Some don't have wonderful memories of hugs from family members because their family members barely touch each other.
Ask any woman in your life and they can probably tell you a story about being unwittingly touched or groped by men who seemed to think that "they were just asking for it." There are lots of adults who when they were children had a fear of the adults in their lives because touch was connected to being assaulted (punched, beaten, hit, kicked) and worse. Two things about human physical touch can be true at the same time. It can be a wonderful method to connect with fellow human beings and at the same time it can be used to harm.
Who knows if Jesus was a person who liked to give hugs. Maybe. I could see him being a hugger. Yet we don't know if he was or wasn't. What I do know is that Jesus didn't punch, hit, kick, or beat anyone. Jesus didn't disrespect the women in life by groping or grabbing them because "they were just asking for it." Instead, Jesus used physical touch to demonstrate compassion and care.
There are many stories about Jesus offering care to people by physical touch. Many of those moments turned into moments of restoration and healing. One such story can be found in Mark 1:31 where we read that Jesus held the hand of Peter's mother-in-law. She had a fever and Jesus' touch lifted the fever. “And he came and took her by the hand and lifted her up and the fever left her” (Mark 1:31).
On another occasion Jesus touched a man who was deaf and mute: “Taking him aside . . . he put his fingers into his ears, and he spat and touched his tongue; and looking up to heaven he sighed and said to him, ‘Be opened’” (Mark 7:33-34).
There was the case of a blind man. “And some people brought to him a blind man and begged him to touch him. And he took the blind man by the hand … and when he had spit on his eyes and laid his hands upon him, he asked him ‘Do you see anything?’” (Mark 8:23).
And don’t forget the young girl who actually was lying dead. Jesus, “taking her by the hand, said Talitha koum, ‘Little girl, get up.’” And she did! (Mark 5:41). The word talitha can be translated as little girt but the word is more of a term of endearment. It is the word a mother would use for her daughter. Jesus is saying something in English akin to "Hey my sweet girl" "or "Hey honey." Koum means arise which is something a parent might say to a child after nap time is over. Jesus is communicating something tender to this little girl that would approximate to "honey, it’s time to get up."
I don't have a grand conclusion. I don't have some sentimental story to tell. Simply reminding myself and maybe you that the hugs, handshakes, and handholding in our lives life are remarkable gifts to give and receive.
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