You will soon need this

Read 1 Kings 3:16-28

If you don’t yet you will soon sense the need for wisdom. If you haven’t yet you will soon take a job you should have never taken. Hire somebody you never should have hired. Say something that you never should have said.

Gerhard von Rad, an Old Testament scholar, suggested that the definition of wisdom in the Bible is competence with regard to life’s realities. Why does your life blow up when you date the wrong person? What happened that made you take that wrong job? You underestimated that, you over estimated this and you didn’t understand that. Why do our lives blow up? Life blows up when you do something without wisdom. There was a young man who at the age of 20 becomes King of Israel. His name is Solomon. He gained wisdom and exercised wisdom in a way that shows us how to get it as well.

Two stood before Solomon and he will need wisdom. Just like us we come to forks in the road. Should I marry or not marry? Should I go to this school or that school? Should I take this job or that job? Stick with the project or forget it? We all come to forks in the road. In western civilization today there has never been a group of people more in need of wisdom because we have 100 times more forks in the road than anyone else ever has. How could that be? In a traditional culture many of your choices are made for you. In traditional cultures somebody picked your wife or husband. In traditional cultures people generally told you what you had to do and what your job was going to be when you grew up. In our current culture we face 100s of forks in the roads because in our culture all bets are off. Everything is wide open. We need wisdom because two stand before us all the time.

Yet the real difficulty comes in situations where we need wisdom are the places were the rules don’t help us. Solomon had this incredible case that needed wisdom because the rules didn’t help. For example if a man and a women are arguing over which one can raise a child almost every society has told judges what the rules are. Societies decide if the man or the women would be a better parent then the other. If the rule of the society is that the mother does a better job parenting unless the mother is a broken person in some way then you follow the rule. Solomon is faced with two women so the rules will not help.

What if one women was middle class, educated and the other women was clearly a dysfunctional violent illiterate street walker. Well in most situations judges have rules. In most societies the rule would be give the child to the middle class educated women. Yet both of these ladies are prostitutes. The two women before Solomon are both in the very same spot in life and society.Typically courts have rules about evidence. In verse 18 it is made very clear that nobody else could testify about what had happened. There is no way to corroborate the story that Solomon is hearing. This is the kind of situation in which wisdom will be needed.

Wisdom is necessary when the rules don’t apply. For example here is a difficult conversation that I have had to have many times. A person tells me that they need to talk about their spouse. Sad to say yet many of these conversations are about spouses that have been unfaithful or built up bitterness in their marriage. At some point in these difficult conversation they want to know what the rules are about their situation. What has God stated about this situation? They want to if they should I leave their spouse and get a divorce? Or should they stay? I tell them that they have the right to stay or to leave. The Bible does not say that you have to stay nor does it encourage you to go. You have to decide if you are going to restore the marriage, which is totally possible, or are you going to leave?

After a bit of a blank stare they inquire if there is no right answer to their question. Of course there is a right answer. Unfortunately, there is a wise answer and a foolish answer and since the rules don’t apply you are going to have to make a choice with regard to the realities of life. One choice is going to be the right one and one is not. You will know in about 1 to 5 years if the choice you made was wise but you can’t rely on the rules. You are going to need wisdom. That is a difficult conversation but not near as difficult for those that ask.

This is why some people get a little nuts over the book of proverbs. Because proverbs does not offer us rules. For example:

Proverbs 26:4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Proverbs 26:5 Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.

Which is it? Is it right to enter into a debate with an unreasonable person? Or is it better to just walk away and not enter into any kind of debate at all? What is the answer that the book of proverbs gives? Well sometimes when you enter into a debate with an unreasonable person it is a complete disaster. Other times when you enter into a debate with an unreasonable person it is not a disaster. You can’t rely on the rules. You will have to rely on your competence with regard to the realities of life.

All of us here have some words that we wish we could take back. You said something to a friend or family member and it just ruined things. It is a moment that you wish you could have back. Yet there are some rules for words. 1. They have to be honest. 2. They have to be fair. 3. They have to be well intentioned. You know can be aware of and apply these rules to the words you say. You can even be totally well intentioned with the words you said and yet you still should have never ever said them. We wish we could take them back. Why did we say those words? Because we were not wise. We were incompetent. Wisdom is competence in regards to the realities of life. Whatever you think the rules are you are going to come to the forks in the road of life where two stand will stand before you. The rule will be of little help. You are going to need some wisdom.

The passages also tell us about the structure of wisdom.  We are told that it is the King who has wisdom. In fact verse 28 tells us that those who witnessed Solomon’s ruling held the king in awe because he had wisdom. People go to the kings because that is where they expect wisdom to be found. Here is a fundamental principal about wisdom . . . whatever you hold most in awe in your life, whatever your king is, whatever the ruling power is, whatever you are most under the authority of . . . that is the source of your wisdom.

Wisdom always comes from the king. If you have the true king then you will have true wisdom. If you have the red king then get red wisdom. If you have a green king then you get green wisdom. Scripture tells us that fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. That begs the question of what or who is your Lord? The Bible says that if your King is anything except Jesus then the wisdom you are operating from is actually foolishness on its own terms. In the book of Proverbs the word for wisdom is a word that means training. It can also means discipline or to be a disciple. A disciple is someone who has come under the authority of another. There is no such thing as wisdom without coming under the authority of something.

If the most important thing to you is money then there will be a kind of wisdom that will come from that. When you come to a forks in the road of life and are offered a job that makes little money yet fits your skills and would be fulfilling verses a job that is not as fulfilling, does not fit your skills yet offers a lot of money. Which will you pick? If money is your king then you will go with the job that is not as fulfilling and in the long run you will be less productive, you will burn out faster and you will have more money problems. If money is your king then you will cut corners and cheat on your taxes which can destroy you financially. What if the most important thing to you is parenthood? If your children are happy then you are happy.  You kind of live your life though your kids. You will push them to do things that don’t fit them but will make you happy. Later on they will turn on you. What if the most important thing in life is work? There is recognition and achievement that comes with work. Work can be noble. Yet when you come to the forks in the road you will choose work over rest?  Work over family? Work over relationships? The great irony is that if work is the most important thing then it will be where your wisdom comes from and ultimately that kind of wisdom will destroy your work.

In front of Solomon stand two women and he does something to determine what is going on in their hearts. Instead of looking at them and making a guess he finds a way reveal their wisdom. Solomon asks for a sword. The sword is not the solution it is the responses by the women that is the solution. One women shows that her motherhood is more important than the child. If parenthood is the most important thing then you don’t really care about your children you truly care about yourself. When she says let the child die. . . . that is foolishness! That is not the mother. Motherhood is her authority and in doing anything to gain motherhood she fell.

The structure of wisdom is whatever your king is. Whatever you have given yourself to will be the thing from which your wisdom will come and unless it is Jesus then it will be foolishness in the end. You will lose the very thing that you most wanted. The real mother showed true Godly wisdom. She was willing to give something up to gain it back. The heart of true wisdom is that the way up is down. The way to find your life is to lose your life. The way to gain real power that you can’t lose is to submit. The way to real freedom that you can’t lose is to serve. The way to get real riches that you can’t lose is to give. The real mom was willing to give away her motherhood so that her child might have joy. She gave away all her joy and hope so that her child could have it.

Every problem that you and I face has to do with this. We have to find ways of giving up things. Give up our instance that we are going to have a happy family. Give up that every job must be great or that work is all that matters. The Christian view is that if you want life you start with losing it. If you want to go up then you must go down. If you want a great family then it starts with giving up your instance that it must be great.

If you call yourself a follower of Jesus then it means that he has some kind of authority in your life. Jesus has to be the reason why you get up in the morning. Jesus is the center of how you organize your life. Until Jesus is King of your life then he will never be any wisdom to you at all. Wisdom comes from the King. Good thing that Jesus does not come to us as pure reason or logic. Instead he comes to us in person. Know that person. . . know real wisdom.